“Oh nooo! Wow, that sucks!” I exclaimed as I looked on my car’s windshield. “It looks like a spider web,” I thought. We just had gotten done with our soccer games that Saturday, and as I was headed to my car, I saw the windshield cracked. I’d say “cracked” is an understatement for the way it looked. Thankfully, I found a shop that replaced my windshield the next day and at a cheaper price than most places. It felt good to see a brand new windshield. Not too long after I got my windshield replaced, I was driving down the road behind a car, and a small rock jumped out in front of my driver’s side of the windshield. It left a small imprint, but I was devastated. “I just got my windshield replaced!” As I drove, all I could do is focus on the imprint. It was really small, but because the windshield was new, it was noticeable to me. A couple of weeks ago, I was driving on Ronald Reagan Parkway in Northeast Atlanta and I began to focus on the small imprint. I realized I was holding the steering wheel, but I was not controlling my steering. When I regained consciousness, I found myself slowly drifting out of my lane, and quickly pulled myself back.
As I reflect on these thoughts, I realize something important—I begin to wonder where I put my focus most. I think there are two types of focus: a healthy focus and an unhealthy focus. I would be the first to let you know that I often fall into the “unhealthy” form of focus. Those of you who know me or have read my book, are familiar with the struggles and adversities I’ve had to overcome. I have had various successes and failures along my journey. Thankfully, the people who gathered around me believed in me, and that has been one of the biggest pillars of my life. I know I have never been alone. I think about my life today and realize how blessed I am despite my hardships. I am surrounded by people who want to see me succeed, I have a job that gives me the opportunity to impact people’s lives, I have a steady income, I have a car that takes me from point A to point B, and I have a wife who loves and cares for me. I do not mention this to brag on myself, but I realize I have more going for me than is against me. Keeping these thoughts in mind with a thankful heart is healthy. However, I sometimes lose sight and complain about the things I do not have.
Too often, I find myself complaining to God and doubting where I am going in life. I like to think about future opportunities and all the possible outcomes. I’m a big dreamer. It is great to dream, but when I realize I am not where I want to be or where I think I should be, I become discouraged and beat myself up. This is what I refer to as an “unhealthy focus.” I admit I have done this plenty of times these past few years. Throughout this process, I have been training my mind to not dwell on the things I should have done in the past and shift to focusing on the things I should be doing now. Too often, I believe we get so focused on the things we didn’t accomplish and think, “I should have gotten my degree earlier,” “I should have done this!” or “I should have done that!” These thoughts can be toxic and can take us down a rabbit trail; they can cripple us from moving forward.
As I write this, my hope is that you will begin to identify where your focus is. When the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Philippian Church, he told them that he has not yet obtained perfection but forgot what was behind him to reach towards the higher call of God in his life through Jesus. The Apostle Paul had a resume he could brag about, but he chose to count it as rubbish and incomparable to the higher call of God. All I want in my personal life is to accomplish everything God has called me to do. The only way I should measure my success is based on the call of God in my life and not on another person’s success. The Apostle Paul ends his letter to the Philippians by affirming them to think on things that are true, pure, honest, and of good report. I may still have a small blemish on my windshield, but that shouldn’t stop me from driving to my destination. It shouldn’t stop you either.
Philippians 3:8-14 New International Version (NIV)
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-8 New International Version (NIV)
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Dallas has been my home since I was a child, so every opportunity I get to return, I love to take it. My opportunity came on September 21 – 25, thanks to 
Richland was a smaller setting, and a little more intimate in my opinion, since we were in their library. I shared my story with them and the three key points that helped me in life. There was a Q and A, so I enjoyed that. One of the questions asked was how would I encourage someone who wanted to give up, so I pointed them back to one of my keys, which was to examine their relationships. It is important to be around people who will not let you fail. As the questions kept coming, I was enjoying encouraging the group. Yet, there will also be that one person who wants to challenge you. One guy, in particular, asked me what I thought about the children who were brought to America at a young age like me. He asked if I thought if they should be allowed to become American citizens. I answered him and said, “I have a hope that something could be done since we had no fault in coming to America at a young age. Our parents took the risk because they wanted to give us a better future.” As the event was coming to a close, I tried to end it by sharing my experience of how I was ashamed of my ethnicity because of my status. I told them I no longer am ashamed of who I am. I am proud to be a Mexican American. As I was speaking, the same young man who asked me about the previous question, asked me if I thought gays should not be ashamed of their sexuality. He caught me off guard because I was not expecting such a question. That moment taught me to be prepared for any question that comes my way. The moderator spoke out and said that was an off-topic question since we are celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month. Shortly after that we were done.
We also had a book signing at Richland, and once again people were lined up to get a book. I was thanked, and quite a few said they could relate to me or had a family or friend who could relate. One girl had tears in her eyes, and it moved me. She said she was encouraged. I knew I went there for a reason. As I get to do more of this, I remember that I am only human, and because I’m human, I am no different than those with home I have had the opportunity to speak, and those I will continue to meet. If my scars bring healing to your life, then I know this journey was worth it.
