Growing up I’ve always wondered if there was more to life. There were moments I reflected on my neighborhood and thought, “there has to be more to life than what I see.” I spent most of my life in East Dallas, and it is deeply carved into me and will always be a part of me. Like me, I know you have a story of your own. As you think about your past, can you recall anything that kept you moving ahead? You may have to rekindle those thoughts again the next time you are faced with a difficult situation.
Life does not promise that you will not face another hardship.
If it were up to me I’d wave a magic wand and make everything easy. If you’re honest, you’d do the same. However, nothing easy has ever been as valuable as the things you had to fight for. This can be summed up in this quote, “easy come, easy go.” It is good to struggle and be faced with difficult situations. If no one has ever told you that, I’ll be the first. Hard times are designed to develop character within you. Pressure creates diamonds and gold cannot be refined without fire.
I’m no stranger to hardships. I was born in Mexico but raised in Dallas, TX. I grew up as an undocumented immigrant. At age fourteen my father was deported. My mother returned to Mexico not too long after, but I stayed in Dallas for the promise of a better future. My cousin’s boyfriend kicked me out when I was fifteen years old. When I asked, “Why are you kicking me out? What did I ever do to you?” He replied, “Nothing. I just don’t like you.” I Became homeless and started house-hopping while attending high school. Amid this pain, I learned to embrace my struggle. Instead of running away, I ran towards it.
No one in their right mind ever wants to struggle, right? We want life to be easy, but that is not possible. So what are we supposed to do when we are faced with difficult situations? I’ve recently been listening to different successful motivational speakers, and the one who has highly inspired me is Les Brown. He shared this quote in one of his speeches:
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”
I hear the quote, and it immediately takes my mind to the adversity I faced as a teenager. My circumstances sought to drown me, but they couldn’t keep me down. I want to share with you three things I learned during my teenage years. I still implement these in my adult life when I’m faced with difficulty.
1) Be still
Some of you know this as “mindfulness mediation.” As a young adult, I began to learn more about this as I was going to church. Now, you don’t have to be a person of faith to take part in this. However, I’ve realized that being still long enough to quiet your inner person has its benefits. For example, you can gather your thoughts to take control of them instead of letting them take control of you. Have you ever shaken a snow globe? What happens to the little flurries after you sit the snow globe still? Everything soon calms down, and you are able to see the object in the middle with clarity! This is the same with our thoughts. If you learn to “be still” long enough, you can visibly see the thoughts that are trampling you. At that moment you have the opportunity to discard the toxic thoughts and renew them into something positive.
Here’s my simple strategy – 1) I get alone in a dark room (if possible), 2) close my eyes and gather my thoughts, and 3) sit silently for a few minutes.
This helps me to refocus my mind. A few minutes go a long way. Go ahead; try it!
2) Helpless vs. Hopeless
There’s a difference between being helpless and hopeless. A hopeless person has lost sight of any sense of overcoming obstacles. Les Brown shared a story about two men who had a similar situation. Both men lost their job and were in search of new employment. One man felt hopeless, while the other was hopeful. The hopeful one pressed through and kept thinking to himself, “This next one has to be it.” Eventually, he was able to find a job. The other man gave up looking because he couldn’t get over how difficult it was to find a job. One day he asked his wife if he could use the car to which the wife agreed because she thought he was going to look for a new job. The man dropped the kids off at school and the wife at work. He went home, left the car on in the garage, and then took his life.
I was saddened by the story, but it put things in perspective for me. As for me, I was helpless but not hopeless. I had little to no resources, but I learned to create a network of people that took the time to guide me through my circumstances. I went to go look for the help I needed instead of allowing myself to wallow in self-pity. You can be helpless but not hopeless.
3) Dream Beyond Your Imagination
In spite of everything against me, I was hopeful there was a better future out there for me. I found it. I’ve always heard people say, “The sky is the limit.” Cute quote, but I find that limiting itself. A few years ago I sat down to write a song called “What If…” I wrote,
“The sky is the limit? Don’t limit me with that mess, galaxies of opportunities are out there, only limits are the ones I set for me on this quest!”
I used to imagine myself speaking in front of crowds and sharing my testimony. I had an imagination that took me from my current circumstances and place me above them. I saw a better future when I closed my eyes to imagine a different world. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” I imagined a life I wanted to live, and I pursued it. I’ve been privileged to share my story with countless people whether on stage, or with individuals in the streets, and through my first published book I helped co-author. So I say to you, dream! When you dream a dream, dream something bigger. You have more potential power working on the inside of you than you can ask for or imagine.
This is not an exhaustive list. The list I have to embrace adversity is a little longer, but this will do for now. Why give all my secrets away? 😃
To find out more about me, you can visit my website – www.hisplan.org
To listen to my music, you can find it at www.musicbyjuanton.com
My book is called “Left In America,” and you can find it on Amazon.
I know that if I was able to make it, you can, too. Embrace Adversity.